When did I get so impatient?
Recently, I’ve had two big parts of my life where I’ve been really impatient. My toddler tests my patience every single day, never fails. Combine that with an infant, there’s a equation for a mommy blow up every now and then.
Corrine is turning two this week so she’s approaching that age when she’s got serious opinions yet little vocabulary to express herself other than “uhhhhhh” and pointing in the general direction of what she wants. Sometimes I can decipher toddler language but other times I’m at a loss. Depending on my mood, it may lead to an immature battle of who can scream the loudest or I’ll ignore it. And I know, I should ignore her more often, but damn, it feels good to let out frustration as a scream like she does.
And then the little one wants to join in! And its a crying chorus! What a beautiful sound. Ugh.
Can you relate?
I call this a test of the “in the moment” patience. An acute test of patience. And I know that they learn from my reaction. So I have to model some better behavior, more controlled behavior, most of the time.
So when I’m challenged in the thick of meltdown, here are 5 things that I do/think to be more patient:
- Breathe. If yoga has taught me anything is that breathing can be enormously therapeutic. I close my eyes, breathe a couple deep breaths and calmly address the out of control child.
- Smile or laugh. Make a joke out of her tantrum. Try to get her mind to a happy place. This worked really well last night when Corrine was throwing a tantrum and Cody started barking at her. She laughed about it and stopped throwing her hissy fit.
- Document it. These are gold mine black mail videos for my kids. And I have a few of them now but I can imagine I’ll have more once Joelle is older and they feed off each other.
- Remove the audience. Get the hell outta there (as long as the child is safe). She can’t fall off the ground and likely that’s where Corrine is kicking and screaming. So I head upstairs when she’s not looking. Once she realizes no one is watching her, she settles down.
- Be the better person. Talk calmly. Don’t add to the chaos by screaming. That helps no one, other than you in the moment. I’ve felt extremely guilty after I’ve lost my cool a few times. And that does not feel good. I have to remind myself about this one the most in the moment.
The other side of my life that’s trying my patience is my professional life. Lately, I feel like I’ve done all I can do to advance myself within the two organizations I work for. I’ve acted brave and made my professional goals known with all the right people, only to be told you have to wait. I’m doing it all right, my hands are just tied. Which really sucks.
In a similar manner, I’ve been transparent with my goals for advancement in the gym I work at and yet again, I was told I have to wait. Apparently, it’s time for other people to be promoted. And I have to wait. I get that. I’ve only been at this group of gyms for a year, but I’ve been teaching group fitness for quite some time and I’m ready for more challenge and responsibility. Patience patience patience. Ugh. I’m not complaining, I’m just venting.
This is more of a constant test of patience.
How to deal?
- Do all that you can. You can’t expect to reach your goals if you’re not doing everything to get you there. I take comfort in the fact there is little more that I should be doing to advance myself. I’ve set myself up for success, I just have to be patient.
- Revisit the final goal. When reaching the end of your patience, remind yourself about the goal and why it’s worth working for and waiting for. I do this all the time. My goals are valid, desirable and within my reach. So I’m going to keep working for them.
What tries your patience in your life?
How do you deal?