Sorry if I get a bit wordy on this post. I haven’t been posting a lot recently and it’s not because I haven’t been thinking about it. I have. Writing and sharing in this space makes me feel good. It’s an outlet to allow me, as a stay at home mom, be connected to my profession as a dietitian and fitness buff. But lately, I’ve felt uninspired with writing something with interesting, educational and entertaining content. I’ve logged on here multiple times, opened a new post and waited for something good to come out.
And it hasn’t happened.
So, time has past yet life still goes on. I think I’m just in a rut feeling uninspired, stalled and frustrated with some aspects of my life. It’s not my family or kids as they always keep me on my toes. They always make me feel the love even when things don’t feel right.
I mean, come on. Look at that face.
So what is it? It’s hard to tell exactly but I think it’s my workouts and my classes that are feeling a little out of whack. And some issues I’m dealing with are leaving me feeling stretched thin and slightly unfulfilled.
A typical day for me starts as early as 4am (on Mondays and Fridays) and I teach twice (or more) times a day, usually a morning and evening class. I’m usually at home for lunch with the girls just in time for them to go down for a nap from 2-4pm. In these short two hours, I have some “free” time. It’s usually used to review for my next class or prepare for launching the new releases (5 classes to learn in a week……ahhhh). The kids wake up and it’s time to head to the gym again. Dinner is usually late (9pm last night for me) and bedtime comes too quick.
I’m not at all complaining about the volume of my classes because I chose to take on all these classes. And I’m not glorifying my “busyness” because that drives me nuts. This is just how my days look.
When you workout for a living, it doesn’t leave much time to work out for yourself. My workouts are always teaching because my free time is necessary to recover from my week. I miss my running. A lot. It’s something I really enjoy and was really good at (not so much as I haven’t run since February). Running gives me time to clear my head. Running gave me a goal to work for that was all dependent on the work I put in. If I was training to hit a certain race time, my success depended on my workout quality. In other words, put hard work in and achieve the goal.
Does it translate my career as a Les Mills instructor? Put hard work in, get results out. For the most part, yes. I am very confident with my ability to teach an effective, engaging, fun and results driven class. But I’m always improving or “shifting” as we say in the Les Mills world.
I work hard at my craft. It’s not just showing up the gym and teaching a class. It’s spending hours learning the moves choreographed for each class and I teach five programs. Once that happens, I change my playlist and have to review older tracks to keep the workout fresh for my members. It’s scripting new effective cues to describe the same movement patterns to keep regular participants challenged as well as making it achievable for new members.
So what’s my problem? Two things. I have been particularly focusing on BodyFlow and RPM as I feel these two programs are my best chance to advance my career within Les Mills. Check out this post about my BIG GOALS.
Let’s start with my goals with RPM. This is the class I teach the most, 5 times per week and I love it! It’s such an energetic and explosive cardio burning 45 (or 60) minutes. Yet, my classes compete with freestyle cycle classes. Some view these as better because the music usually resembles popular radio. And I’ve seen my class size dwindle lately. Which I know it’s not always about how many people show up, but there’s something great about teaching to a full studio. My early AM classes used to be that way when I just took over the class from a freestyle cycle instructor. Now I’m lucky if half the bikes are taken. Could it be they don’t like RPM or don’t like the way I teach? It’s frustrating and I try not take it personally, but it’s hard not to. But, I can’t let that stop me from delivering a stellar class every single time.
With BodyFlow, I’m dealing with a bit of jealousy and a little bit of “hey I’m working hard at this, shouldn’t I be rewarded?” In my post about my goals, I talk about how social media can be a real bitch for my jealousy. And I’d like to think I’ve learned and grown since then. Maybe I have since, but jealousy has reared its ugly head again lately. I wish there was a clear path for me to achieve this goal of becoming a BodyFlow trainer. When I see people taking definite steps toward this goal while I sit waiting for an invitation, stings. A lot. Too much to really think about because it makes me upset. That tells me I’m in the right place because this is what I’m passionate about. So, again, I’ll keep working at my craft and hope that one day, the stars will align and I’ll get my shot at my goal. That’s all I can do, apparently.
But then a moment happened last night. I subbed a BodyFlow for the instructor and trainer that got me hooked on BodyFlow. I was able to connect with the people in front of me with an indescribable feeling that had to be me working through all these feelings. Instead of feeling defeated or frustrated, I channeled this into letting them feel my passion for the way BodyFlow makes me feel in a way that felt authentic and real.
Even though having a goal to advance my career within Les Mills is great, I’ve realized that I am extremely fortunate that I have the skills and ability to deliver life changing fitness experiences every time I teach.